No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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