i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
high people should be assigned attendants
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
