i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
