I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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