Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
