You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
