and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
If I die, sorry about rent.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
