I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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