So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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