Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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