I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
