Pappa wants mamma naked
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
