Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
