She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
