DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I am one with the molecules
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
