my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
being pregnant is like rehab
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Can I color on your dick again?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
