Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
