Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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