Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
