Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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