Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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