I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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