U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
