He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
