we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
