Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
