so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
