my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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