im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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