I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
