Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
