Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
