Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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