Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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