I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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