I wish I could teleport
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
