My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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