Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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