I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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