i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
