He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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