you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just had sex on a roof
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
