At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
