This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
