this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
