My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
