I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
