Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Randomize
