Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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