I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
