you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
