We got so high we made milksteak
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
