Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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